One String Away

Look, it’s sad that he’s a county commissioner, but, Honey, it’s tragic that he used to be a school teacher.

It’s pretty darn obvious that our county commissioners were taken by surprise at the uproar over the proposed Grand Parkway toll road. They pretty much figured that the three Republican fellas on commissioners court could push this sucker through with very little hoopla. They figured they’d have just one public meeting and then they’d vote faster than a bullet with legs like they did with the blasted worthless voting machines they spent enough on to remodel the Vatican.

Ho boy, they were mistaken. Try running a toll road through somebody’s backyard for sparkin’ some major league dissatisfaction. This sucker is a land grab the size of which Christopher Columbus would envy.

Some citizens, feeling they haven’t been heard well enough, decide to use the magic of modern technology to contact their county commissioner about this toll road thing.

Some citizens, not being aware that a pencil and paper are a technological challenge to Precinct 1 Commissioner Tom Stavinoha, emailed him. Let me make it real clear that these people did not email Stavinoha a form letter. They each sent him their thoughts on the subject without even knowing the other people.

Stavinoha emails them back as a group. No, seriously. Everybody gets the same email whether they asked the same question or not.

He doesn’t bother to answer each person’s questions or statements. No siree, he’s far too busy not opposing the landfill and not listening to complaints from citizens to be bothered with answering each email as they come in.He sends one email and puts all their email addresses right there in the cc area for everyone to see.

He is dumber than bean dip, (You’ve been waiting for that, haven’t you?) and now we have proof.

His email response doesn’t even address the issues mentioned in some of the emails. He’s fishing with a net instead of a rod and reel.But, listen here, he ain’t caught diddle squat nonetheless.

Here’s his email. I took out the names because I figure it’s nobody’s business when you email your county commissioner, not even other people who also emailed their county commissioner. It’s copied exactly. I didn’t take out any vowels or commas to make him look dumb. He’s doing a dandy job of that all on his own and don’t need no help from me.

From: "Tom Stavinoha"
Date: September 17, 2007 2:33:06 PM CDT
To: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Subject: Grandparkway

Our records show various options for US 99 dating back to 1986.
The county often participates in 10% ROW acquisitions for state highways. Back in 1989, commissioners court approved $2 million for acquisition of ROW for segment D. That amount was far less than 10%, since most of the ROW as donated.

In 2000, commissioners court approved the segment C route.
In 2001, I along with Judge Adolphus, moved the route farther away from Brazos Lakes Subdivision.

In 2000, plats for Canyon Gate at the Brazos show dedicated setbacks for the Parkway.

In 2004, Harris County conducted a study on the tolling of US 99, when it was becoming clear the state had limited funds for construction of new roadways.

In 2006, the state confirmed the concept of tolling any new portion of the Parkway.

I wanted to give you a history of what has happened over the past 21 years. Sometime developers don't let possible residents know the facts.

This email, which is nuttier than squirrel poop, doesn’t even come close to answering some of the questions and statements in the emails.

Not one person wanted to know what happened over the past 21 years. They all wanted to know why do we have to build the toll road here and why do we have to do it right now.

Tom didn’t have answers to those questions, so he gave them the capitol of Utah and the square root of 1,532 instead, figuring that he’d go for bonus points.

Well, if the truth was known, Tom does have the right answers to the questions of why here and why now. However, writing, “Look, I just do what the developers tell me to do and then they pay for my purchases out at the county fair,” kinda makes the last sentence in the email stand out like black roots in bleached blonde hair.

“Sometimes developers don’t let possible residents know the facts.” That’s an amazing sentence for a man who is one string away from being a developer puppet.

I hope that just one person who got this email wrote Tom back and said, “Ah ha, now I know what developers and county commissioners have in common.”
Yes, sometimes developers don’t provide all the facts, but developers have checkbooks and county commissioners have campaign accounts.

And that’s how toll roads get built.