CD22 Congress Race: Me, Bob Talton, and Cookies

Among the group of Republicans tripping over themselves for the chance to run against Nick Lampson, my favorite is notoriously grouchy State Representative Robert Talton. And from what I can tell, Mr. Talton and his political consultants are fans of mine as well.

And before you ask, yes, he really brought cookies.

You see, it all began back in July of 2006. Tom DeLay had announced that he would quit his re-election campaign, and local Republicans thought they may have a chance to replace him on the ballot.

A super-special meeting was held in Richmond to discuss who should replace DeLay. It was a “who's who” of bad hair and homophobia, and virtually all of the potential DeLay replacement candidates would be there, so I decided to go and check it out.

I was familiar with most of the contenders. I knew David Wallace, mayor of Sugar Land and international arms dealer. I also knew Charlie Howard and Mike Jackson, a pair of far-right state legislators. And I had seen Dr. Gibbs' city council antics on the local news plenty of times. But Talton was a mystery to me. All I knew was that he was a rich and ruthless divorce lawyer with a bad temper. And that he was very, very, very hostile to gay rights.

I wrote about the meeting for my oddball campaign blog, View From 22. Among all the campaign stories I've been asked about by politicians or newspaper reporters, the story of that meeting comes up the most. It had the tone and tenor of a student council election: David Wallace passed out water bottles with his picture on the label. Shelly Sekula Gibbs set up tables at the back with pepperoni pizza. The air was thick with the salty scent of desperation.

As the meeting began, Fort Bend County GOP Party Chairmen Gary Gillen made sure to personally thank Mr. Wallace and Dr. Gibbs for bringing refreshments. In a moment of wacky surrealism, Robert Talton leaped to his feet and gleefully exclaimed “I brought cookies!” A mix of nervous tension and restrained giggling filled the room.

Later, I went to the back of the room, and there they were: Perfectly centered on a large conference table in the far corner of the room, still covered in saran wrap, perfectly centered on an intricate lace doily, sat a small plate of oatmeal cookies.

Anyway, flash forward to last week. When I was asked to do some writing for this website, I went back and looked at my old blog, and out of curiosity I checked my sitemeter to see if it was still getting page hits. It was, and one entry caught my eye. An IP address from Russo, Marsh and Rogers, a big-wig nation-wide political consulting firm, hit my site by searching Google for “I brought cookies & Robert Talton.” Here is a screenshot from my sitemeter.

Guys, if you're reading, tell him to bring chocolate chip next time.

Peace and Progress,

Mark D. Bankston