We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident

"In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country."

-Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, September 24, 2007

"The United States does not torture."

-George W. Bush, October 5, 2007

"There is no presence of American infidels in the city of Baghdad."

-Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf ("Baghdad Bob"), April 7, 2003.

"I am not now, nor have I ever been a homosexual."

Larry Craig, September 1, 2007.

"We've never been at war with Eurasia. We've always been at war with Eastasia."

-Big Brother, 1984

"It's only a flesh wound!"

-The Black Knight, c. 906 AD