Secret directions to Chuck Rosenthal's restroom

Our neighbors in Harris County no longer need coffee to wake up in the morning. All they have to do is look at the morning newspaper and follow the latest development in the District Attorney e-mail scandal. That will wake you up. This story has been on the front page, above the fold, every day for two weeks.

For those wondering if this will ever end, I hope not.

Let me summarize what has happened so far:
The District Attorney for Harris County is a Republican named Chuck Rosenthal. You may have never paid any attention to him before, but you are now. The District Attorney provides the prosecutors for all the criminal courts. He likes to run on a law and order platform and could probably keep winning elections as long as Republicans keep winning in Harris County. However, there was this little ol' lawsuit down the street in the federal courthouse that alleged the District Attorney was in cahoots with the Sheriff's Office in failing to investigate or prosecute some Sheriff's deputies for civil rights violations. The federal judge required Chuck Rosenthal to produce copies of his e-mails. Those e-mails were sent to the judge, but they were sealed and not supposed to be released to the public. Oops, some of the e-mails were released (accidents will happen) and we found out that Chuck Rosenthal wanted to kiss behind the right ear of his secretary. Then, we learned that Chuck, who is married, had previously had an affair with said secretary. Then, we learned that the secretary makes $75K a year and gets a county car, with gasoline. This is not looking good for Chuck. The e-mails released were pretty G-rated, until we learned of over 2000 e-mails that Chuck erased and did not produce to the federal judge, and additional e-mails that contained racy videos and racist jokes.

Candidates started falling out of the trees to run against Chuck, who decided on the deadline day not to run for re-election after all. One of the candidates is Chuck's First Assistant, Kelly Siegler.

It turns out that some of the most shocking e-mail was sent to Chuck by Dr. Siegler, Kelly Siegler's husband. Kelly said that her husband cusses like a sailor, and she can't do a thing with him.

Now, the story morphs into an examination of the First Assistant. It turns out that Kelly Siegler has some enemies at the courthouse. One of the court reporters turned up a transcript of Kelly at a Batson hearing (at which a lawyer must prove that they did not strike a juror because of race), and Kelly is captured saying that she did not strike the juror because he was black, but because he goes to Lakewood Church and people that go there are "screwballs and nuts".

Kelly has tried to re-focus the campaign on her Republican opponents in the March primary. She did that by declaring that they couldn't find the bathroom (at the D.A's office).

I was intrigued. A challenge, surrounded by a puzzle, wrapped in a mystery. Could I find the bathroom? Was there a secret passage? Did one have to use a secret knock, or perhaps tap ones feet in a certain rhythm?

I started my quest on Franklin Street, at the Criminal Courthouse. I asked one of the security people, "Uh, where's the District Attorney's office?"

"Sixth floor".

That's it? No grilling about why I'm asking? No special scrutiny? The challenge must await me on the sixth floor.

I stepped off the elevator, turned left around the corner, and there in front of me was a glass door with gold lettering that said "Chuck Rosenthal, District Attorney".

On the left before entering the District Attorney's suite, was a water fountain and the Men's Room. On the right before entering the District Attorney's suite, was the Women's Room.

You cannot enter the District Attorney's suite without seeing the restrooms.

So, there you have it. Knowledge that Kelly Siegler's Republican opponents do not have. I can't wait to hear what she's going to say next, and neither can the Democratic candidate who is running in the November election.